Tuesday, May 25, 2010 Y 10:12 PM
THOUGHT: God made each and everyone of us different. So how do I know if I'm a good Christian if I'm not suppose to compare myself to other people.
I feel like as a Christian, there's so much pressure to get involved in missions. I mean it makes sense because that's the only way to get the word out there. To reach the nations where there is no freedom of religion. But, is that the only way to be a truly good Christian? Is that the only way to be a strong Christian? Can't I be a strong Christian through my actions towards my family, my friends, my co-workers and strangers. Can't that be my testimony of faith? Or is it a biblical requirement that I put myself out there, in this foreign country, physically risk my life and preach to unbelievers. Is that the only way? Sometimes, I hear people talk about their faith and all they want to do for God and sometimes, I wonder is it all for looks? Are they doing it because its what a Christian is
suppose to do, because that's what everyone else
expects of them? But how do they feel about it in their heart? Is this what God is calling them to do? Is this how God actually wants it? Sometimes, people get so caught up in looking like a good Christian that when it's time to prove they are one, in their day to day actions, they actually appear more like an unbeliever. It's not impossible, because when people do it for the show, their heart isn't in it and therefore when they think no one's watching, their heart reveals itself.
Honestly, I guess the only thing holding me back is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear because I don't know what to expect. But .. I'd feel like such a liar if I can't even walk my talk. If I can't even try to walk my talk how can I talk to others, and encourage others? How can I when I'm a fraud? I can't even ask for forgiveness because I know in my heart that my apologies, my repentance is a lie and that it's just going to continue tomorrow, and the day after that, and in the weeks that follow. There is no purpose in an empty repentance. It's not even repenting if you're not sincere about it. But even so, I'll continue praying for
guidance and
courage. Guidance to make the right decisions and to know His plan. Courage to follow it.
