Wednesday, September 9, 2009 Y 11:15 PM
THOUGHT: Essentially, Christianity is blind faith in God.Don't get me wrong I'd still call myself a Christian but, sometimes I doubt myself. There is no reason Not to believe but what is the reason for me to believe? I cannot let the purpose of my life hang on a "why not". I do truly believe that God has blessed everything throughout my life and has let me live a fairly comfy lifestyle. However, is this really a product of God, or a product of the compassion and well meaning of my parents which allows us to be blessed. I mean think about it, if the expression what comes around goes around is true and all Christian act accordingly then how can Christians not be blessed. In addition, aren't there many that do not deserve to be blessed still receive blessings? Really I believe my only answer will only be achieved through experiment and knowledge of the different religions and this is my new school years resolution. To learn about religion and not be a blind sheep following his shepherd.
On a different note, I've realized I've changed drastically in my love life. I'm not the nonchalant person I thought I was. Jealousy plays such a large role, it's rather embarrassing to talk about. For one, I'm more envious than jealous of those that get to talk to you in Korean. I feel like you're a whole different person and it's a side I'll never be able to understand, let alone be apart of it. In addition to this, I feel very possessive. I believe this is a direct effect of the fact that your life does not solely revolve around me like it did for the other ones and I feel as if I must stake my claim or something. Today, for example, oddly enough when she complimented you (yes it's considered a compliment when a girl says you're cute) I felt angry and I was actually tempted to grab you and make out with you right then and there. But instead I got angry and walked away before I could do something really stupid. Oiy Vay, this is embarrassing =.=" lol.
Well work has thoroughly screwed my sleeping habits up .. GREAT. T.T
