Wednesday, August 5, 2009 Y 4:17 AM
THOUGHT: Don't live your life on "what ifs" but on "because".In everything that has ever happened in my life, I have not regretted a single moment of it. I am truly glad that it has all happened. But, more recently I've noticed (but have always known) that I'm really not one to dwell on things that are out of my control. I have the mental ability to shrug off and discourage negative thoughts so that I don't think about them. Upon realizing this I realized that many of the events in my life I pretty much tuck away into a little compartment in my head and deal with them much later, after the effect of those thoughts appear to no longer bother me. Sometimes I get surprised because the thoughts return and I recall the anger or the sadness I felt then. But because I have moved on, my feelings are and can be dealt with. I believe this is the main reason that I do not regret anything in my life. Because I am able to think clearly and appreciate anything that has happened or been said. In addition to this process, I subconsciously prevent the same event from occurring and I protect and improve myself. This gives me the courage and the confidence in my day to day life.
Although, there is one thing that still makes my confidence waver and makes me self-conscious. But, I guess this is only because I have made myself so vulnerable so quickly over the course of these past two months. I also doubt myself because, I feel as though this perfection can't be held and this area of my life is the most potent to change and is definitely something I don't want to lose. I try not to think about it but my confidence is difficult to hold onto.
